Thursday, July 30, 2009

Doing v. Being

So ... this morning I had a little epiphany. In the shower, where I have most of my epiphanies. :) As I thought about the day ahead and looked around at my semi-scuzzy shower, I started thinking ... when am I going to get this shower cleaned? What will I do to keep the kids busy? How am I going to do this, that and the other, etc? Then I thought to myself ... Why am I trying to DO stuff right now?

Of course, I like to feel like my house is semi-neat, and that I have a shred of control over my surroundings. But as I gave my situation more thought, I almost started giggling with glee, because the truth is this: When you have a newborn, people expect nothing from you. NOTHING. When people see me, they don't expect my hair to be done, my clothes to be clean or my face to be made up. When people come to visit, they don't expect my house to be clean, or the toys to be put away, or the dishes to be clean and out of sight. When Chad comes home, he doesn't expect a nice hot meal on the table, or the bed to be made, or the house to be in order. (Not that he "expects" these things to be done but I usually try to have this much accomplished in a day.) On top of it, people don't expect my kids to be spit-shiny neat and clean either. They don't even expect my kids to have great behavior because they are, of course, "adjusting to all the changes."

So the beauty is that anything I actually do accomplish is icing on the cake right now. So I decided - why not seize this time and actually enjoy it rather than stressing out about what is NOT "done"... and just "be" with baby Chloe and the rest of the family? How about I just enjoy all the down time I spend sitting around nursing? How about I just play with the kids and not try to get massive amounts of laundry done?

So that's what I'm doing, or "accomplishing" today. I held my baby girl, the last baby I anticipate ever having, and looked her in the eye and cooed at her. I played tea party with Audrey. I cuddled Carter on the sofa while I fed Chloe and he watched a Baby Einstein show. Of course, I also "did" a few things like cleaning out some old food in the back of the fridge, making the kids lunch, and putting a load of laundry in. I have even thought about what's for dinner tonight. But overall, for now, I am choosing to embrace this precious time in my life where the love is high, and the expectations are low.

Here are my four reasons why I do what I do ...

... and in case you're wondering, my 4th reason is Chad, not Audrey's stuffed animal sitting on the end of the couch. :)


girlymama said...

my baby is now 16 months.

and i can hardly believe it.

you just sit and cuddle that baby and enjoy her!!!

Chris Ann Schultz said...

Glad to see Chad and not the stuffed animal was reason number 4, but I knew that! :-) Thanks for the laugh and serious thoughts you shared. I felt like I've been "Being" a lot this summer, so far, everything was still out of my control. So, maybe I can do things for the last few weeks! We've enjoyed a break from S.S. Teaching, only a few times, have we taught, and we crashed the 1st week of vacation, that's all we could handle, due to our displacement and needed recovery time. Thanks again, keep on sharing your experiences, they encourage others!

Kelly said...

Amen to that, Amy! WONDERFUL post!!!!! And CONGRATULATIONS on your absolutely beautiful Chloe! What an enchanting name, what a ravishing little daughter! She's just a gem! And born on the same day as my Grace was (three years later, but still...a great day!). Congratulations! She's just gorgeous! I saw last week when I was on vacation but wasn't able to comment at the time...I had to rush over tonight and say congrats!!

nateandkatesmom said...

Amy, so funny you should post this. I was going to put something similar on my blog. I do not have a newborn, but I've been finding it near impossible to keep the house clean lately....or at least as clean as I usually like it. When I'm trying to get stuff done in one room, the kids are usually "occupying themselves" wrecking another room. (Well not so much wrecking, but spreading toys wall to wall) The rest of the time I am at work or we are outside. And truth is, I'm enjoying it! I do stress about the house sometimes, but soon enough, school will be starting and I will miss the kids...but have all that time to clean, uninterrupted.
I do not expect you to have a clean house, if you don't expect mine to be! LOL
Well there's my the form of a comment on your page!
I'll just write on mine (see MamaAmy's blog comments) lol

flizflibbit said...

You are speaking to my heart, girlfriend! :) Glad you are enjoying your kiddos today!

flizflibbit said...

oops, posted under tim-- this is brianne. hehe.

Allison Grant said...

Truer words were never spoken, my sweet friend! "Being" seems to be the heart of things anyway, right...out of which any "doing" of any eternal value is able to be accomplished! :) Love on each other for me! ~Al