Five years old

Today my Carter is FIVE YEARS OLD!

His current obsession is bowling so on Saturday he had a bowling party with his preschool friends....

This morning Daddy made pancakes .... shaped like a bowling ball and bowling pins!

Hmm, guess what he is getting for his birthday?  

Yup, a bowling set.

We also had a conference today with Carter's teacher.  He is doing very well at school and otherwise.  It is so interesting to me how we are raising 3 children with the same DNA and same 2 parents ... yet each child is so different with their strengths and weaknesses.  Different from each other, and different from us, even.   

Some of my favorite things about Carter in particular are ways in which he is different from me.  For instance, he is just a natural encourager ... he is always cheering on other people and noticing the things they are doing well and verbalizing his encouragement.  I need more of these qualities...I tend to be more critical, or sometimes I just don't SAY the encouraging thing I'm thinking.  For him this is just a God-given spiritual gift.

I also love how Carter notices and studies things I take for granted (although I think all children do this...we as adults just kind of overlook a lot of the cool stuff around us).  And he notices things that I would NEVER IN A HUNDRED YEARS find interesting ... but he is different from me.  Today we were driving to his school and he said "I'm glad we're going this way...we're going to pass my favorite sign!" (favorite sign? okay....)  Then later when we were eating lunch at McDonalds and he said to me "Mommy, there are 38 lights in here."  Sure enough, I counted and there were 38 lights.  He spends lots of time setting up his markers into "bowling pins" - in correct position, mind you - and then knocking them down with his fist (the bowling ball, I guess?) and watching how the pins fall.  He just has always looked at things in a natural, curious, "outside the box" kind of way, and I am so up in the box sometimes.  

Today I was thinking about how desperately I wanted to have a baby when I got pregnant with Carter.  I had had a miscarriage about 9 months previously....I was so sad to lose that child and I wanted so badly to have another child that I was kind of in a depression for quite some time about it all.  God taught me a WHOLE lot during that time about trust and waiting and accepting.  I had finally come to the point where I was "accepting" that whether I had another child or not was really in God's hands, not mine.  And then thankfully, (THANKFULLY!) God did indeed bless me with this beautiful baby boy.  I am so thankful for him. I sometimes think - if I had not lost the other baby, there would be no Carter.  It is a bittersweet thought. 

I love you Carter Jacob.  And may God give me the grace to be just the kind of Mom that you need.  I fall short so often...but no one here on earth loves you more than I do.  Okay, Daddy probably loves you just as much.  But you are a special gift from God to your whole family and we love you.